Last week I read an article on a very popular website about the pros and cons of getting married.
The website is geared towards late teens and people in their 20s, and so I thought,
Yay! Someone shedding some positive light on marriage to people who are really searching for truth and are very impressionable right now.
I could hardly make it through the article I was so furious. When I finished it, I felt sick to my stomach. The cons to getting married included how it’s an “old school” tradition, and that women don’t need men anymore. Women make more money, can support themselves, and actually their success will lead to divorce anyways. The pro side of marriage points were even worse. Their number one and two reasons for getting married were the cake and being able to plan a glamorous wedding. Oh, and the tax breaks are great, too. Those three things sound like a real winning foundation to base a marriage on.
There has been a decline on the value of marriage. Something that is so special, powerful, and that should be the foundation to create loving homes to raise the next generation in is being attacked, insulted, and mocked. A recent study showed that today’s young adults have the lowest rates of marriage(here), and casual hooking up is something that is now common and accepted as normal behavior. To you young people out there, I am so sorry that your minds have been filled with incorrect thoughts and ideas about marriage. It actually is very beautiful, and a key part of building a strong life and society.
What Every Millennial Needs To Know About Marriage:
1- It’s important for you to learn how to love: We live in a society that is incredibly self centered. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons why people don’t care about marriage are because we care a whole lot more about ourselves. We want more things, experiences, opportunities, and feel like we would give up too much if we settled down with someone. One of the most important things in life is to learn how to love another person above yourself. This will change you. True love comes not from romance and fairy tale stories that look perfect, but from sticking things out, making sacrifices, and putting another person’s needs above your own. Many people think, “I don’t need someone else to live a life of purpose.” And that’s partially true, you don’t. But it sure will add a deeper dimension and power into your life that you would not have otherwise. Marriage is a commitment. It’s committing to choose to love one person, and keep your eyes off the rest. It’s choosing to not take the easy way out and hide away when things get hard, but to stand firm and fight for a companionship that is sacred and right. Loving someone doesn’t mean making excuses and moving on to the next better thing. It’s standing firm, even when it would be easier not to.
2- Pornography will desensitize you: Instagram, Facebook, Google Search, magazines, Snapchat, Twitter, TV, Movies… You can go anywhere, pull up any social media channel, and have instant access to pornography. I keep seeing this “Free the ti**y” movement on social media, which is also supported by a lot of influential people. A group of people want it legal for women to walk around without their shirts on. I can’t imagine my 7 year old son seeing live women without clothes. While marriage is on the decline, pornography is on the uprise. Young girls post provocative pictures on social media accounts, while famous singers and actresses are idolized for their bodies and hardly cover them up. Nikki Manaj’s new cd cover is of her wearing a thong. No wonder the random hook up culture has been created; there is no responsibility or accountability for acting inappropriately. Stay away from pornography, of any kind, and respect your body in the same way that you would want your future spouse respecting theirs.
3- You, in fact, do need each other- My husband is my perfect balance. He has qualities that I lack, and visa versa. He is my confidant, support, friend, and best companion. He lends advice, listens when I just need someone to, and at the end of the day, I know that we will pull through whatever life throws at us together. I have an incredibly strong personality, and I am one of the most independent people you will ever meet. You can still be independent and depend on someone at the same time. In fact, marriage shouldn’t change your identity. And if you fear that it will, perhaps you aren’t dating the right person for you. I need my husband just as much as he needs me, and as a team we conquer life together.
4- Marriage is a 3 way street- Between you, your husband, and God. Society is going to tell you a lot of bogus things about marriage. In fact, I can guarantee you that by me writing this article I will have a lot of emails in the morning from people who disagree with me. That’s fine, because my marriage doesn’t involve them, and neither will yours. We got married when we were still in college. I had tons of people tell me that was a mistake, that I needed to finish first, and that we were too young. But you know what? It wasn’t their decision to make. And I can tell you that I graduated with honors, having the highest GPA I’d ever had. Don’t let people around you set your standard of marriage. Involve God and ask Him to help you set your own.
It’s not always easy, and in fact, a lot of the time it’s very hard. But marriage is an important aspect of life, love, and society, and helps us all progress towards the person we need to become. We all find our significant others at different times in life, and as you set your priorities right, you’ll be more prepared to find and value it when it comes. And I just hope that you know how important your future marriage is.
Stay true to what’s right.