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ashleyklemieux

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Our precious baby boy, Jayce Michael LeMieux, was delivered at 9:40 on Friday morning.
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The name Jayce means ‘Healer’. That’s exactly who Jayce has been for us. This baby healed us in ways we never thought we’d experience again, and showed us that there is a beautiful life that is still waiting for us to live. Our hearts are cracked wide open again, but this time, we have Jayce as a guardian angel to help light our way.
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At 16 weeks gestation, his body was perfect and healthy, but unfortunately, mine was not. The extent that the sepsis rapidly took over my body created a scenario in which we both couldn’t stay alive. It was too much to have a pregnancy withstand, and is something that is going to take a very long time for me to come to terms with.
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He came quickly and unexpectedly, and I delivered him all alone in a room that was never meant to deliver babies. I sobbed and screamed on my bed, yelling to God that it wasn’t supposed to be this way, as I waited for a group of doctors to come help me.
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After I delivered him, they rushed me to the Labor and Delivery unit of the hospital, which meant that my husband @mikelemieux could finally have permission to come and be with me after days of me fighting alone for my life in the hospital. (I’ll talk more about this later).
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We’re still in the hospital, my body has a lot of healing to do. We spent precious time with our baby boy this morning to say our final goodbyes. His little hat fits in the palm of his daddy’s hand.
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We love you Jayce. I can’t wait for the day I get to hold you in my arms. I wish that I could be where you are. #LeMieuxFamilyOfFive

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Hi❤️ Ashley’s friend @natalienorton here. No, you’re not in the wrong place....It feels impossible for the words to leave my lips.
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Deep breath....
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My heart is shattered to announce that as of 10:32 PM last night, Arizona Standard Time, my dear, dazzling, warrior friend—the light in my wilderness and yours—was (and likely still is) suffering through the loss of her beautiful miracle baby.

Because of hospital restrictions due to COVID, Ashley is fighting this battle, all alone. Without @mikelemieux by her side, without her sister there to hold her hand or her momma beside her to dry her tears. . .
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And at a time like this, when the whole world feels as if it has stopped spinning, can we pause together, further still? Can we open our hearts as wide as we possibly can and hold our beautiful, brave, radiant Ashley within them?

It goes without saying that it is no less than she would do for ANY one of us.

Ashley has held me through some of the deepest, darkest losses of my life. She stood beside me and bore witness to my most harrowing suffering. And because of her unfailing love and light, I never walked a step of those terrifying journeys all alone.
Even amid her own darkest of nights, Ashley held me.
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She never stopped shining light into the abyss of my soul, until somehow, like magic—in that way I believe she was genuinely born to do—Ashley breathed life and courage back into the ashes of my broken life.

She took my hand and led me toward the radiant light we call, “hope,” and my life has never been the same.

It was and is because of her constant companionship that I—and so many of you—have found the strength to rise from the ashes of our own obliterated worlds and to shine once again.

Ashley, we are standing with you now, and always. You and Mike are in our every prayer. May you be wrapped in the same abundance of light and love you have always so freely given to every one of us.
We love you.
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YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

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Baby is okay. 🙏🏽I am... okay. I have never been in so much physical pain in my entire life.
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An ambulance drove me to the hospital at 3 AM after experiencing hours of the most intense stomach pain and cramping that made me unable to walk...
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I have a kidney infection that led to passing a kidney stone, that led to sepsis.
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I’ll be here for a few days, and because of Covid, @mikelemieux can’t come in with me. Being wheeled away from him was terrifying. Taking tons of tests and ultrasounds to determine if the baby was okay without Mike with me was anxiety ridden.
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There was a point today where my pain was so severe I was screaming. It had been 12 hours of intensity with no relief and I thought I was going to pass out. As my face and arm and legs went numb from the pain, a room full of doctors were quickly called in.
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One doctor who was giving me an EKG kept looking at me saying, “Nobody else can do as good of job as you to get through what you need to get through. You’re doing so good. Keep being you and breathe. This won’t last forever.”
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Thank you for the prayers for the baby and for me. After I got through the worst of the pain so far, I opened my phone to tons of messages of love and support from so many of you who saw Mike’s post. It means more than you know. I’ve got some major healing to do in the next few days, but am optimistic and grateful.
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And just in case you need to hear this today too, “Nobody else can do as good of job as you to get through what you need to get through. You’re doing so good. Keep being you and breathe. This won’t last forever.”
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Update: Our sweet baby boy is now in heaven, lighting our way until we hold him in our arms some day.

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Hey Z,
I can’t wait to tell the baby all about it’s older, courageous sister.
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Z, you’re the one who taught me how to have courage. You taught me that courage starts small, and that’s how you know it’s real and there to stay. How you chose to seek joy even during confusion and went from being shy to shining on stage.
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You taught me that courage can happen to anyone. It doesn’t require us to be the smartest, strongest, richest, or most powerful superhero on the planet. It just requires us to show up. And sweet girl, there’s nobody I know who shows up to their life more than you do.
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I know life might feel overwhelming right now, it does for me too. There’s a lot going on. But I also know that inside of you is that 20 seconds of courage that has given you power to do the next hard thing, all throughout your life.
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I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I’m praying that each day we choose to live with courage, is a day closer to seeing each other again.
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We’re not complete or whole without you. And I’m so excited for this baby to get to meet you one day. Even though we’re not physically together, I want you to know that you’re inspiring and motivating me to choose courage, every single day. Love you to the moon. You’re the one who taught me how to get through the hard stuff ❤️

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We. Are. Home.
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It has taken us YEARS to get to this place where we feel rooted somewhere again. To feel like we could live back in Phoenix where so much pain used to be, and to know that it is time to create a new home full of life and love and memories... well, I’ll just say it’s one of the biggest miracles of my life.
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We walked through this house in December, and I saw us here. I saw our family, I felt at home. I can’t even tell you ALL of the dominos that had to fall perfectly into place for us to close on the house yesterday and get the keys...
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But not even a worldwide pandemic could stop us 😅

WE ARE HERE!!! WE ARE HOME!!!
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The second I handed a copy of my book, Born to Shine, to my grandma and grandpa... they went quiet and just started reading...
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When I was alone with my grandma later, she told me, “this book is really great to read. Women didn’t talk about things like this when I was a mom and wife. It would have been really great if they did.”
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The “things like this” that she’s referring to in my book is the real, heart stuff. The stuff that when you feel it, you feel all alone. It’s the stuff that builds heartache and fuels grief... but then after you hit the bottom, the “things like this”, teach you how to rise up and shine again. They show you YOUR power, and you learn that you can shine no matter how dark it feels. This book teaches you how to Shine through “things like this” that nobody likes to talk about.
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When my grandmother, who is in her 80s, was expressing her relief that I was talking about things that women need to talk about, all I could think of is this man who I have never met... He is a head publisher at a publishing house I was hoping to get a book deal from. He told me that my book would be “too hard” for women to read. “TOO HARD.” Like nobody else could possibly want to have support through heartache. Because what we’re supposed to do, is sweep our feelings under the rug and not talk about “things like this.”
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Except that, my grandma now has a book that resonates with her. And one day when she finds it, my daughter will too. And my mom, and my sister, and my neighbor, and my friend who just lost her baby, and my other friend who’s going through a divorce, and the teenager who recently DMed me thanking me for using words that saved her life, and my childhood friend who is aching for a family...
AND YOU. I am HONORED to talk about “things like this” with you. Especially right now.
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I convinced my publisher to give you my e-book this week for only 99 CENTS. This is the time to grab Born to Shine in the link in my bio (or just head to Amazon, Apple Books, Barnes and Noble...). It will go back to regular price this weekend. I’m grateful we get to overcome “things like this”, together.

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