I went on a run today. It was raining and I had this moment where I felt as if it was just me, and the rain. It was pounding on me, it felt cold, but alive. I’ve felt rain many times before, but tonight, I recognized that I was running… even in the rain.
Today felt like a mess. It did. I experienced a couple of deep disappointments that sent me into that internal spiral of, “you can’t do it, it’s just too hard”… “you’re not prepared enough, stop trying”… and the one we all tell ourselves that I hate even giving recognition to, “you’re not good enough. you never will be good enough.” I settled my sorrow with a can of green onion Pringles and sulked a little bit more, and then went for a run. That’s when I had my moment.
Fully aware that I was running in the rain, I realized how much time we spend trying to get out of the storm. In our lives we spend so much time trying to avoid pain, trying to predict the future so future pain won’t hurt as badly, feeling fear of the unknown, becoming swallowed up in uncertainty and discomfort and it controls so many of the decisions that we make. As I was running, I realized that I was running in the rain. I know, it seems like the most obvious and ridiculous observation ever. Every car that passed me clearly saw that I was running in the rain, it was nothing secret or magical… it was ordinary. But for me, tonight, it taught me a lesson.
We can get so focused on being in the eye of the storm, we don’t notice that we’re still living through it. Heck, sometimes we are thriving in it, running faster than ever and being the super hero of our own lives. But while the water is pouring on us, while it’s cold and dark and heavy, we get so focused on the weight of it all that we forget to notice the power within us to continue on, anyways. Our ability to run through the storms in our lives can show us just how powerful, how resilient, and how strong we truly are. We don’t give ourselves enough credit.
What if you wrote down all of the things you have continued to do, accomplish, and thrive in, despite it being stormy around you? What if we shifted our focus from how miserable our situation might be, and instead focused on our growth, our resilience, and our learning in the process? What if we stopped waiting for the storm to end, and instead, lived right in the middle of it… running and laughing and loving, anyways?
As I was finishing my run tonight, I took note of all of the beautiful trees that are starting to bloom. It’s only February and the flowers are coming alive! I had this cheesy grin on my face that completed what I had just been learning… the flowers would never have come without the rain.