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hello shine

ashleyklemieux

I remember the first time I heard the word white p

I remember the first time I heard the word white privilege.

It made me uncomfortable. I was confused because I’ve gone through some really hard things in my life, and I’ve worked really hard for everything I have.

I wondered what it was that was making me feel squirmy, so I decided to learn more. I learned (and am still learning) that white privilege has nothing to do with not having a difficult life or walking through trials, and everything to do with my basic, everyday life that is afforded to me solely based off of the color of my skin.

I did nothing to earn this privilege. The privilege of not wondering if someone is following me around the store because of my skin color, having most products at the store marketed by people who look like me, not being racially profiled, never having to wonder if moving into a new neighborhood would be welcomed by the people living next door, being able to get out of most speeding tickets that I’ve gotten pulled over for...
•
I read today something that I loved: this isn’t black versus white. It’s everybody versus racists.

My question for years has been, “how can I do better?” And as I often talk about is; Allowing the feeling of being uncomfortable and in pain, something that can aid, and teach me, and show me the next right step. That all applies to this, too!
❤️
Here’s what my next right step looks like right now:

1-I pushed back sponsored content this week so that space could continue for this conversation.

2-When I post it, I will be donating the money that I make to the NAACP Minneapolis who are on the ground there right now doing important work.

3- I am doing my own learning. By not asking questions to the black community to make them teach me, but following and studying their leadership to help me answer the question, “How can I do better?”
❤️
If you would like to answer that question for yourself, I have tagged some of the leaders who I follow who are dedicated to this work.

Black Lives Matter.
❤️
I love this community so much, I love your heart and conviction. Comments that bring any further pain to our black community will not be tolerated.

This beautiful artwork was done by @sacree_frangine.

I always create a special room for my daughter, Z.

I always create a special room for my daughter, Z. I make it into what I think she would want if she were here with us, sleeping in it every night.

I imagine her doing her homework, telling me about dance and her day as I sit on the side of her bed, wondering how I got so lucky to have her in my life.

In the room I made for her at our Nashville house, I wrote my first book. I don’t know what’s going to happen in this new space, but as I got close to finishing it today, I felt her magic in it.

And I wanted to share it here.

There’s always room for you two. And I want to be sure you know.
❤️❤️❤️
PS: Let me know if you want to see other spots in our house.

When we were dating, @mikelemieux broke up with me

When we were dating, @mikelemieux broke up with me for one day.

He called me over to his house the next night, and without saying anything he walked me up to his closet to stand in front of his full length mirror.

Holding my hand he said, “This is what I want for the rest of my life. Side by side, walking through it all together.” We were newly dating and hadn’t talked about marriage yet, but in that moment, we both just knew.
❤️
Today I sat in this room, telling Mike my current feelings and anxieties. I told him all the things I don’t have answers to yet that are worrying me.

He looked up, smiled, and pointed to the mirror, “I’m sorry you’re hurting. I am hurting for you too. But... all I know is we’ve still got a mirror. So whatever happens, we’ll walk through it together, side by side.”

The cemetery felt extra holy this morning. The fla

The cemetery felt extra holy this morning. The flags that lined the entire grounds in memory of those who have fought for our freedoms filled this broken heart with so much love and gratitude.
❤️
The grass hasn’t grown yet over Jayces burial place, and the newness of the soil he rests under broke me to tears.

But right over him, was this little red heart that someone had placed. It felt like a gift of love from the universe. I just laid there,

praying and asking God if He remembers me right now. Because I’ve felt so alone, and I’m still so sick, and the ache I feel is just too much sometimes.

Within a couple of minutes, a man walked over, and told me that God told him to tell me something that was a direct answer to my prayer. He told me that experience is what he needed, too.

Soon after, a woman who’s husband is buried right by Jayce, said, “Are you Ashley? My daughter has told me about your story.” And together, we mourned the loss of our people. I left the cemetery not feeling alone anymore.
❤️
It’s kind of amazing, finding healing in places that often feel so painful and broken.

I’m grateful for the courageous women and men who risk their lives, so that we have the freedom to heal and live how we choose.
❤️
Honoring so many things this Memorial Day.

I AM PINCHING MYSELF! You guys, I am starting my e

I AM PINCHING MYSELF! You guys, I am starting my edits for the second draft of my new book that comes out early next year.
🥳
My book was due to my publisher right in the middle of when I was still pregnant, and I kept feeling like something was missing from the pages. I couldn’t figure out what it was, and then almost two months later life exploded.

To be able to dive back into this book, and to now add to it has been incredibly healing for me. Writing is always how I process through life, it’s how I uncover hope, it’s how I give a voice to pain, it’s how I’m able to connect us all together, even though our stories are different. The timing of it all feels like a miracle for me.

I feel so honored that I get to write this book for you. I can’t wait to share more about it, and once we can leave our houses again to photograph the cover, I’ll be able to share with you the cover and title! I think you’re going to freak out… any guesses?
❤️
Since we’ll be painting this room soon, I took the liberty to paint a message for myself on the wall, so that when I come to write and edit in the mornings I have a powerful reminder of the work I’m doing, and am reminded of why I am doing it.

Writing an entire book without being able to leave the house is not easy! Without doing a few key things throughout the day as I write and work, this book would not have the power in the pages that it needs.

Head to my stories to see my key tips for working from home and the platform that has kept me organized throughout the process, #InPartnership with @mondaydotcom! #mondaydotcom
❤️
And leave your book title guesses below :)

My sister texted me this week, “Sis you were in

My sister texted me this week, “Sis you were in the hospital when you were at the same stage of pregnancy I’m in. It makes me so sad. I am so sorry.”
❤️
We didn’t realize when we first posted about my sister @itsmebrookec being pregnant, how many of you have experienced a similar situation.

My mom said something that has stuck with me, “Brooke has felt your pain to the core, and you have felt her joy... that’s love.” That’s sisterhood.

We‘re navigating this new reality daily, and share our experience in hopes to spark conversation around something that’s not often talked about. Feel free to save or share this post so if this ever happens in your life, you’ll feel less alone.
❤️
Here are 2 ways we’ve seen sisterhood strengthen during this time:

1- Brooke often gets asked by other people how I’m doing. The thing is, Brooke has had a really hard time ever since she lost her niece and nephew years ago (our older two)... but often when you’re the one experiencing the second hand grief, it’s easy not to have people check on you. Right when we lost Jayce, Brooke’s friends sent BOTH of us the sweetest care packages.

I was so happy that people showed up for my sister to support her, too. It helps give the other person permission to grieve, and it was powerful to see her friends rally around both of us like that.

2- I asked Brooke what else we should share. She said, “That it just all sucks.” I think acknowledging the gravity of the situation with those you’re experiencing this with is so important. It sucks. There’s no quick fix. There’s no right feelings. It’s okay that it sucks.

Often, grief can get masked as anger, but it’s not each other we’re actually angry at. It’s the sucky situation.
❤️
Sisterhood is going to the deepest parts of BOTH pain and joy with the people you love. There’s no fixing the pain, there’s no taking it away, there’s only sitting in it, together.

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