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hello shine

ashleyklemieux

I AM PINCHING MYSELF! You guys, I am starting my e

I AM PINCHING MYSELF! You guys, I am starting my edits for the second draft of my new book that comes out early next year.
🥳
My book was due to my publisher right in the middle of when I was still pregnant, and I kept feeling like something was missing from the pages. I couldn’t figure out what it was, and then almost two months later life exploded.

To be able to dive back into this book, and to now add to it has been incredibly healing for me. Writing is always how I process through life, it’s how I uncover hope, it’s how I give a voice to pain, it’s how I’m able to connect us all together, even though our stories are different. The timing of it all feels like a miracle for me.

I feel so honored that I get to write this book for you. I can’t wait to share more about it, and once we can leave our houses again to photograph the cover, I’ll be able to share with you the cover and title! I think you’re going to freak out… any guesses?
❤️
Since we’ll be painting this room soon, I took the liberty to paint a message for myself on the wall, so that when I come to write and edit in the mornings I have a powerful reminder of the work I’m doing, and am reminded of why I am doing it.

Writing an entire book without being able to leave the house is not easy! Without doing a few key things throughout the day as I write and work, this book would not have the power in the pages that it needs.

Head to my stories to see my key tips for working from home and the platform that has kept me organized throughout the process, #InPartnership with @mondaydotcom! #mondaydotcom
❤️
And leave your book title guesses below :)

My sister texted me this week, “Sis you were in

My sister texted me this week, “Sis you were in the hospital when you were at the same stage of pregnancy I’m in. It makes me so sad. I am so sorry.”
❤️
We didn’t realize when we first posted about my sister @itsmebrookec being pregnant, how many of you have experienced a similar situation.

My mom said something that has stuck with me, “Brooke has felt your pain to the core, and you have felt her joy... that’s love.” That’s sisterhood.

We‘re navigating this new reality daily, and share our experience in hopes to spark conversation around something that’s not often talked about. Feel free to save or share this post so if this ever happens in your life, you’ll feel less alone.
❤️
Here are 2 ways we’ve seen sisterhood strengthen during this time:

1- Brooke often gets asked by other people how I’m doing. The thing is, Brooke has had a really hard time ever since she lost her niece and nephew years ago (our older two)... but often when you’re the one experiencing the second hand grief, it’s easy not to have people check on you. Right when we lost Jayce, Brooke’s friends sent BOTH of us the sweetest care packages.

I was so happy that people showed up for my sister to support her, too. It helps give the other person permission to grieve, and it was powerful to see her friends rally around both of us like that.

2- I asked Brooke what else we should share. She said, “That it just all sucks.” I think acknowledging the gravity of the situation with those you’re experiencing this with is so important. It sucks. There’s no quick fix. There’s no right feelings. It’s okay that it sucks.

Often, grief can get masked as anger, but it’s not each other we’re actually angry at. It’s the sucky situation.
❤️
Sisterhood is going to the deepest parts of BOTH pain and joy with the people you love. There’s no fixing the pain, there’s no taking it away, there’s only sitting in it, together.

One of the first times I really broke down to @mik

One of the first times I really broke down to @mikelemieux was the night before our wedding.

We were supposed to be in his parents house eating dinner, and instead, I stood on the driving sobbing into his shirt.

I knew I wanted to marry him, but I was TERRIFIED.

It all felt so new, so uncertain, so life changing! All the excitement I had been feeling was suddenly replaced with a deep anxiety that life was going to be totally different forever in just a few hours.
❤️
He had gone through his own anxiety about marriage early on (before we had even talked about tying the knot but he had realized I was the one), so he was prepared to just smile and hold me, and tell me my makeup still looked good even though it was streaming down my face... and held my hand as we walked in to eat dinner with his family.
❤️
Obviously marrying this human was the best decision of my life.
❤️
I want you to know, especially as the world keeps changing and moving forward, that things in your life might feel different. It may feel scary to go all in on the decision you know you want to make because of the uncertainty of the future, or the newness it will bring.
❤️
Even good decisions can bring anxiety. But those initial feelings of excitement and clarity and your heart leaping because it’s found joy... don’t let fear overpower those.

You might just miss out on the boy who grabs your butt after every photo sequence together. (Swipe right).
❤️❤️❤️
Love you. Your heart never lies. Your head might sometimes, but your heart knows. Trust yourself.

Depression. Anxiety. Traumatic grief. PTSD. • I

Depression. Anxiety. Traumatic grief. PTSD.
•
I don't think that people who pass me by everyday know that I've suffered from all of those things.
•
Often, people who are struggling, don't "look" like people who are struggling. So we feel like the only ones who are.
•
I'm grateful for my new lenses the crap in life have given me. They're not rosy... but they're real. I see things now that I used to not understand, because I hadn't been welcomed into the grief club yet. It changes you. As one of my favorite movies says, "Love always leaves a mark." And my marks are left as a result of the greatest love I've ever known.
•
There are so many of you who feel alone. I know this because of the amount of messages I receive from you... I want you to know that you aren't. That you're stronger than you think, and that your lenses that are colored in real life (and sometimes look like crap) are a right of passage to a life well-lived, and a life-well loved. I've never seen things more beautifully, nor have I ever experienced such pain. Don't run away from your pain. Sometimes we have to sit right in the middle of it. We have to for ourselves, and for each other. Because it teaches us how to better show up, wake up, and live... once we're ready to stand up again.
•
You're right where you need to be. Hang in there.

And if you see people hustling around during this time, and you feel anxious about “keeping up”, just know that I spend most days right here in my bed. Doing not much at all... except the most important thing right now for me which is to slow down and heal. ❤️

Our kitchen is officially done! (Swipe for the bef

Our kitchen is officially done! (Swipe for the before photo.)
🙌🏻
We've waited years to feel grounded somewhere that we know is permanent, and in my head I have had our kitchen planned FOREVER.

I've literally envisioned our kitchen as a gathering place for our kids and their friends and I'm over the moon that we now have a place where that’s possible. I can’t wait for that day.

I wanted something calm and inviting, and was so happy that this home had the perfect layout, and that we could very affordably switch out the tile and lighting to match the mood we want to create in our home.

Mike and I added @PhilipsHue lighting so we can also change the light colors to the mood we want! I think it's Mike's favorite part of the kitchen... he changes the colors on his #PhilipsHue phone app all day.
❤️
Now who wants to be the first to come eat dinner with us? Father Shine can cook ;) #myhue #huemood #ad

I can’t wait to meet our babies one day @mikelem

I can’t wait to meet our babies one day @mikelemieux. I hope they are just like you.

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